Life can be hectic for a typical farmer

This article ran in the Country Daily Forum in Maryville, Missouri (year unknown) and the author is unknown:
MONDAY
Water froze up. Bought nice blackface cow, $225.
Tried to find five-section drag . . . lost somewhere. Dead steer in feedlot, looks like it’s bloated. Must be something it ate. Called the vet.
Put blackface cow in with other cows. Fixed fence. Vet wants to talk to me.
Vet said steer bloated. It must have been something it ate. Paid vet.
Called banker. Asked about a $10,000 loan. He laughed. I didn’t.
Put blackface cow back in with other cows. Fixed fence.
Wife mad. Dinner cold. Late for hair appointment.
Sprayer froze solid. Put sprayer in to thaw. Weaned pigs from sows. Wired up gate between them.
Wife mad. Threatened divorce if I thawed out sprayer in her tub again.
Put blackface cow back in. Used pickup this time. Found five-section drag. Fixed front tire and rim on pickup.
Traded off slightly beat-up five-section drag. Nailed a 2-by-6 across pen. Put rest of cows out with nice blackface cow. Fixed fence.
Sows ate through 2-by-6. Locked them out of the hoghouse. Cleaned out hoghouse. Started to spread manure. Rendering truck here to pick up dead steer.
Sows broke into hoghouse. Put baby pigs in chicken house. 6:45 wife mad. Supper cold and kids want to go to town.
TUESDAY
Manure spreader froze solid. Need to spray pigs. Blackface cow looking peak­ed.
Wife mad-car won’t start.
Vet here. Said cow looked peaked. Must be something she ate. Watch her. If she gets worse call him. Paid $10.
Property taxes due. Paid half what they’re worth, same as I’m getting for my wheat.
Called vet. Told him blackface cow still looks peaked.
Called feed grinder truck. Said he would be here after dinner. Put blackface cow in with other cows. Fixed fence.
Wife mad. Dinner cold. Mother-in-law wanted to go shopping.
Broke hose on tractor loader. Changed clothes.
Took blackface cow to market. Got $485. My neighbor bought her.
Banker called. Said my note was due. I laughed. He didn’t.
Peaked-looking blackface cow in north pasture. Called neighbor. Nobody home. Put blackface cow back. Fixed fence.
Baby pigs have scours. Feed must be too rich. Called vet.
Wife mad – hogs out in backyard. Herded them back.
Fixed hoghouse door. Nailed a 2-by-6 across door. Wife banging on hoghouse door. Says car is on fire. Ripped pants on hoghouse door.
New spark plug wires and radiator hose for car – $14.87.
Vet here…says pigs have scours. Feed must be too rich. Paid vet $10.
Wife mad. Dinner cold and car won’t start. Out of gas.  Called gas man. Ordered 300 gallons of tractor gas. Called feed grinder man. Said he would be here before suppertime.
Wife back. Says we are going to eat supper at Frank’s Steakhouse at 6:30 sharp.
Blackface cow in north pasture again. Called neighbor. Wife mad. Dryer blew fuse. Clothes still wet.
Hogs in front yard again. Herded them back. Fixed other hoghouse door. Nailed 2-by-6 across.
6:30 sharp-wife mad. grinder man here. Gas man here. Neighbor came to get blackface cow. Canned soup for supper.
WEDNESDAY
Blackface cow in north pasture.
Banker called. Said note was past due. Nobody laughed. Sent check.
Wife mad. Washer overfilled again. Trash barrels full again.  Put water hose in manure spreader to thaw it out.
Sow farrowed – 14 pigs. Hooked up heat lamp with extension cord. Hog prices up $1.
Wife mad. Car won’t start. Sewer is plugged up.
Fixed dryer and washing machine, started car, emptied trash barrels, and unplugged sewer.
Sat in easy chair with dirty clothes on. Wife mad.
THURSDAY
Water froze up. Forgot running water in manure spreader yesterday. Boy oh boy. Banker called. Check bounced. I laughed. He didn’t.
Sold ten head of hogs. Hog prices down $4.
Wife mad. Furnace quit.
Sow loose in hoghouse. Chewed up extension cord. $7.48. Ripped pants on hoghouse door. Blackface cow still in north pasture. Bought her back for $200.
Tax man here. Says 14 cows in north pasture not shown on tax form. Told him I didn’t know how I miscounted like that. Sure glad to see them all home.  Put space heater under manure spreader.
FRIDAY
Water overflowing again. Tire blew out. Froze up manure spreader. Got too hot.
Snowed last night. Driveway drifted shut. Wife mad. Can’t get to town for her groceries.
Blackface cow had twins in north pasture. Carried them to barn. Twin calves looked peaked. Call vet.
Wife mad. Hot water heater not working. Water cold.
Banker called me. Said he might give me a loan if the cattle market would go up. I laughed. He didn’t.
County agent here. Says I ought to plant black walnut trees instead of corn. Says in 40 years they will be worth a fortune. Showed him how to get off the place.
Vet here. Said peaked-looking cows sometimes have peaked-looking calves. Paid $15 ($5 each).
Put new steel door on hoghouse.
Dealer called. Wanted to know how I bent up drag so bad. Said he sure wished he had come looked at it before trade.  Guess I won’t get truck started today.
SATURDAY
Steel hoghouse door froze shut.
Put space heater against door casing. Got tractor started. Found right-hand glove.
Neighbor called and asked if I was missing blackface cow with twin calves.  Wife says hoghouse is on fire. Sure is.
Garden hose frozeup. Called fire department.  All the neighbors are here. Wife mad. House is a mess.
Fire truck stuck in driveway.
Put fire out with snow and wet sacks.
Insurance man here. Says he doesn’t have hoghouse listed on policy. Anyway it was $100 deductible (about what it cost to fix it).  Threw away steel door. Sold space heater.
Neighbor called. Said he’d only charge me a dollar a day keep for cow and calves. Went and got them.
Wife mad. Hogs eating cat food on back porch. Put 2-by-6 on hoghouse door.
SUNDAY
Wife mad. Late for church again. Car started and quit. Gasoline froze. Went to church in pickup.  Sermon same as a month ago. Fell asleep during sermon. Hat rolled down aisle. Wife mad.
I’m mad. Somebody knocked down our mailbox. Watched T.V. Did chores. Grandparents here. Took kids to show.
Sun went down peaceful. THIS WEEK IS DONE.!

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