The 228 purple pinwheels on display at Community Hospital-Fairfax represent 228 victims of domestic violence that C.A.R.E. worked with in 2018.

C.A.R.E. board members and advocates attended the candlelight vigil held October 9 at the Atchison County Courthouse. Pictured above (left to right) are: front – Teresa Morehouse; middle row – Sandy Marr, Katrina Lock, Gloria Graves, Sarah Watkins, and Nikki Graves; and back row – Glenn Scott.

(Submitted photos)

By Nikki Graves, Victim Advocate

C.A.R.E. of Atchison County held its annual Candlelight Vigil for Domestic Violence Awareness Month, recognizing October as Domestic Violence Awareness Month. C.A.R.E. also set up a pinwheel display at Community Hospital-Fairfax. Each pinwheel represents a victim of domestic violence that C.A.R.E. worked with in 2018. There are 228 pinwheels – that’s 228 people! C.A.R.E. hopes that the candlelight vigil, along with the pinwheel display, helps people understand that domestic violence does happen in rural areas and those who have been affected by domestic violence realize that they are not alone.

There are some unique challenges that come with escaping domestic violence in a rural setting that most don’t think about when they ask questions like “why don’t they just leave?”. The challenges that our survivors face the most are geography, limited resources, and lack of anonymity.

If a person does leave a domestic violence situation, where are they going to go? On average in Atchison County the victim will still live in the same town or within a 15 minute drive to the next town. They could leave the area completely, but that would mean leaving their family, their support system, and possibly their job, which are all resources that they are going to need. When children are involved that could mean leaving the home they were raised in, their friends, and their school.

There are also fewer economic resources in our area. It is hard for people who are suffering from financial abuse to find a job that will support them if they leave. We have no public transportation, so if leaving the abuse means leaving the vehicle as well, there is no way to get back and forth to work to support yourself and children.

The final challenge is the lack of anonymity. Everyone knows everyone in Atchison County, and most of the time that is a great thing, but for people in domestic violence situations that can lead to concerns of being judged, whether real or perceived. No one wants to be the main topic of the Atchison County rumor mill. There is also a very strong possibility that the victim or the abuser know the police officers, EMT’s, nurses, doctors, and judges. These are all people who are here to help, but telling someone who knows your whole family or has known you since childhood about abuse you have been through isn’t easy, let alone the fact that most victims have lost trust in everyone.

For the month of October, try and put yourself in someone else’s shoes and remember to be kind!