by Cindy Walker Burton

Pets are beloved family members. My brothers have canine fur babies (shout out or is it bark out?) to Auggie in Kansas City and Moka in California. My daughter is a cat mom to Smokey and Barley in Orlando. I was a devoted cat mom to shelter adoptees as a Florida resident. In America, four-legged friends are found in 86.9 million homes. Pet industry revenues surpassed $300 billion in 2023. Pets are playful, popular, and prized. They’re loyal, loving, and laudable. But pets aren’t always animals. I’ll give you three examples.

Example #1: Pet Rocks. In 1975, Gary Dahl created Pet Rocks. He packaged a polished beach stone in a custom cardboard box with straw bedding, instructions for care and feeding, and ventilation holes (the Pet Rock had to breathe). Within months, Dahl sold 1.5 million Pet Rocks at $3.95 each. He invented the ultimate pet that was affordable, required nothing, and could be used as a weapon if needed. Pet Rocks are available on Amazon for $29.99. Rock on!

Example #2: PET milk. This shelf stable evaporated milk was first introduced in 1885. It was supplied to American fighting troops during the Spanish-American War and a key ingredient in my beloved mother’s fantastic fudge. Velvety PET milk is rich and creamy and makes recipes taste dreamy. Got milk?

Example #3: Pet peeves. This pet is a behavior or situation that is annoying or irritating. Common pet peeves include interrupting, knuckle cracking, spitting, pen clicking, gum chewing, and loud cell phone talkers. Are you a pet peeve owner? Pets are forbidden at my apartment, but I do own some pet peeves which I try to keep on a short leash: junk mail, scratchy clothing tags, misspelled words, litter, braggarts, and quidnuncs.

So there you have it: three pets and a peeve. Do you own your pet or does your pet own you? Now that’s a peeve.